I made it! It’s been a year since I landed in Los Angeles with 2 suitcases in tow and a bag full of dreams. In some ways, it is very surreal to think that a whole year has passed. It seemed to just fly by and then at other times it dragged on…
If I were to sum up my toughest times, firstly I would say that Sir Edmund Hillary said it best, “It’s not the mountains we conquer, but ourselves.” It really has been about conquering myself emotionally and mentally. The hardest times are when you wonder, can I do this? Am I good enough? How? Building a TV show seems to be such an overwhelming, humongous goal some days. There are days when these questions don’t really bother me at all and then there are days where the fear can be paralyzing and leave me in the fetal position.
Moving to another country has had its own challenges, but the biggest has been being lonely. Being so far away from all of the people who support you and help you through tough times has been hard. Though 12 months later, I have some wonderful support networks in the U.S.
Upon arriving here, I had some meetings with managers, producers and industry exec’s. And let me just admit that rejection is tough. No one likes to hear, “We’re not interested,” served with a little, “… you have no clue.” People really let me know what they thought. They had no issue saying, “You can’t do it. You will never get there. Do you know how many people want to be a talk show host?” …etc., etc. Hollywood is a very superficial networking scene; you need to be very resilient to survive here.
Recently, a really tough time was when I had a show reel edited and shared it with a handful of friends. The feedback was incredibly valuable and useful, but at the time, I was feeling so tired and overwhelmed. It was really hard to hear. I cried for a few days, then picked myself back up and got on with it. I have learned now to know that, ‘This too shall pass.’ The down days are part of the process in such a huge journey. You’re going to be scared, it’s uncomfortable being out there alone and putting yourself out there in such a big way is tough.
It’s been a steep learning curve to produce a show, especially since I had never done it. There were so many new skills to learn and absorb in such a short period of time. It can be very overwhelming. But for every down day, there have been 20 ups. For every day I am in fear, there are many more where I am so clear and sure of my dream and vision.
I knew a year ago I could live with the worst case scenario; loosing everything and having to go home and live with my parents. Lol… but I could never have lived with not giving it a go. This year has been one of the most incredible years of my life. I am stronger, wiser and surer. I know 100% what I am here to do. I have grown as a person and can’t wait for the next year!
The highlights have been:
1. The fact that I produced a show! We have 8 weeks of content in the can.
2. I got to interview some incredible people with the most amazing stories.
3. I met some really cool people like Larry King, John Travolta, Marcia Cross and Vanilla Ice.
4. I got to go explore some wonderful cities such as New York, Denver and Miami.
So the highs have certainly outweighed the lows.
To anyone who is having a ‘fetal position moment,’ just know that this too shall pass. For anyone thinking about following their dream, trust your heart… and go for it!!
Hugs kx
Stay tuned to www.KirstyTV.com for full episodes of our interviews, when our talk show launches in March 2013. We will be sharing inspirational stories from our interviews with everyday people, celebrities and experts.
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