Sexual abuse survivor, Brenette Netters shares an excerpt from her book, Married to a Pedophile with KirstyTV. What would make someone take the innocence of a child sexually, mentally, or emotionally? In Married To A Pedophile, Candace experiences sexual, mental, and emotional abuse throughout her childhood and her adult life until she decides to take her life back. She learns that domestic violence and sexual assault are the enemies in any relationship. Candace is a fighter and she empowers those around her to become fighters also. Through counseling, prayer, faith in God, and perseverance Candace turns her difficulties into a triumph.
Insert from “Married To A Pedophile”
Pages 5, 6, 7 & 8
Mom’s birthday party began at 8 o’clock that night so my sisters and I had to go to our bedrooms. Cady and Cameron shared bedrooms but on party nights the music would be so loud they would be scared to sleep alone in their room so they would come to my room. I would turn the T.V. up loud trying to drown out the music but the music only seems to get louder. Mom would bring us party foods periodically and give us something to drink, usually whatever she was drinking. Cady and I didn’t mind but Cameron would always refuse and frown up. As long as mom was in a good mood we would do whatever she asked so if that meant drinking the alcohol we would drink it.
The party lasted late into the night. Eventually the music died down and people started to leave. Just as I was falling asleep I heard a glass break. I jumped from my bed and ran down the stairs. Mom was standing at the kitchen sink holding the right side of her forehead. Blood was oozing between her fingers. My heart sank. There was broken glass on the floor and Adam was trying to put a towel over mom’s hand but she pushed him away.
“What happened?” I asked with my heart beating a hundred beats a minute.
“Nothing go back to your room.” My step-dad said giving me that ‘get the hell out of here’ look.
“Mom are you okay?” I ask slowly walking backward because I didn’t want Adam to think I wasn’t listening to what he told me to do.
“Go to your room Candace. I’m okay.” Mom said calmly. Blood was dripping down the back of her arm to the floor as she walked toward the bathroom with Adam closely behind her.
I could hear them talking through the door. Adam was trying to whisper but I don’t think mom cared if I overheard the conversation. Cady and Cameron were asleep as they were most of the time Mom and Adam fought and I was thankful for that. Mom had threatened to call the police and Adam was constantly apologizing for hitting her begging mom not to call the police. I overheard him pleading with mom telling her how much he loved her and how sorry he was for hitting her and he didn’t mean to hurt her. Mom asked him to get out of her way so she could leave the bathroom but he kept begging. I overheard mom slap Adam’s face and then there was rumbling in the bathroom. I could hear them fighting. I start hitting and kicking the door wildly begging them to stop. Eventually the noise stopped and I begged mom to open the door but she wouldn’t. I stood there sobbing hoping mom would come out so I could make sure she was alright.
Adam eventually came out the bathroom with a swollen bottom lip, holding his mouth with a small white towel that had blood on it. It was one of moms’ decorative towels from the bathroom wall.
“Go to bed.” Adam demanded. “Don’t get your butt back up either.” He walked past me toward the kitchen.
Adam had startled me. I thought mom would be the first to come out of the bathroom. I ran down the hallway to my bedroom and closed the door. I checked on my sisters to make sure they were still asleep then crawled into my king size bed lying next to the wall. What I had witnessed that night was only one of many fights mom and Adam had after one of their parties. I’ve never understood why my mom did not just leave Adam. He would always fight her and beg for her to forgive him afterward and she always forgave him. I made a promise to myself that I would never let a man put his hands on me. I would kill him first.
The next morning Mom looked like she had been hit with a sack of nickels. Her face was all swollen especially the right side of her face. We knew not to question her about what happened the night before. My sisters was looking curious as usual but said nothing. We went about cleaning up the party mess as though it had been our party. There were cigarette butts on the floors and coffee table, not to mention the amount of beer cans and whiskey bottles lying around. The living room always reeked of alcohol the day after a party. We knew not to go into the spare room so mom usually cleaned it. Adam laid in the bed all morning until the cleaning was finished usually hung over. After cleaning the house mom cooked us a late breakfast, swollen face and all, acting as though nothing happened the night before then take Adam’s food to the bedroom to him. One time mom asked me to take Adam’s food to him and I spat in it, stirred it with my index finger, and smiled as I walked away. I personally was hoping he would choke.
It’s always bittersweet thinking back to my childhood especially the parties. Mom may not have been the best mom in the world but she did the best she could with what she knew. I was startled by the ringing of the telephone. I jumped out of the bathtub almost slipping on the tile floor. The brown throw rugs that usually covered the floor were still in the dryer from last night. It was my sister Cady on the phone. I had avoided her calls all day although my girls were at her apartment. I knew if it was important she would have left a message at my job. After ten years Cady still had a hard time accepting mom’s death also.
Brenette Netters – Author, activist against teen dating violence and sexual abuse, photographer, blogger and social media entrepreneur.
Follow Brenette Netters on Twitter @BrenPlus10.
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