I am thrilled to share with you the wisdoms of Noelene Dawes who specializes in relieving stress and releasing leadership capability. She just nails it on the head here; how can you take away the life lessons you learn here on Kirsty TV and apply them to your life? How can we soak in the wisdoms and reap their blessings in our lives? Every guest on Kirsty TV has this in common; emotional resilience.
When the mind is so weary it winds its way to shut down, the flesh so weak from pain and suffering that consciousness is fleeting, and the heart so heavy it loses all hope, this heralds in the blackest shadow that is the darkest night of the soul. Man and woman are creatures of survival and that instinct might save the breath of life, but those who have come from that place will tell you it is the spirit that saved them throughout the trauma and through to the end. And yet it never ends, not really, there are always the memories to contend with.
Like the amazing stories we are privileged to witness through Kirsty’s great work and open heart, many people who have overcome trauma are compelled to share, to tell all who will stop to listen that anything is possible. But how can they truly tell us “how to” do this when the lessons and the wisdom were born of real, very personal and physical experience. You might walk away feeling inspired, but what do you do with that? And how do you keep that feeling close when you are feeling down? For you might not be pushed far enough to the brink into the dark corner where deep resolve abides.
Sometimes people feel hopeless, helpless and worthless when to the outside world they have health, wealth and people close around them. Life is not always what it seems on the outside, and it is only from the inside that you can overcome. You do that by tapping into the core of who you are, that still place of ultimate strength that no one or nothing can sever. Those who have overcome have the ardent desire for you to know this in the core of your being, so that you too can overcome the challenges that ultimately are a part of everyday life.
What do you face now and what are you carrying around that has gone, things that happened in the past? Isn’t it just too much to carry? Imaging how much improved your capacity to overcome would be expanded if you weren’t carrying all those extra weights around?
You know this intellectually, and you, like most people, have memories you carry: of conversations that hurt your heart; sights that flooded your mind with awful pictures; and injury felt by the hand of others or the force of nature. That’s where courage and emotional resilience are most needed. You can bring them from deep within you to the surface, if only you know how to tap them.
For those who have overcome it is the sense, the physical memory of having endured, overcome and released themselves from the weight of overwhelming cruelty and pain, that is the vein they tap, the source of continuing emotional resilience, courage and hope. For even though they have come through the enormity of challenges in the past, they still must live with the everyday issues that although minuscule by comparison, still require energy and must be dealt with in the present.
To deal with the memories of hurts past, that is where they must be sent. When you bring past memories to mind you are experiencing them now! You re-present them to yourself, maybe as a movie in your head, a recording in your ears, or a feeling in your gut. But you can control the picture and its colour, the sound and its volume, and the intensity and location of the feeling. You can shift or change each or all of these. Just noticing is often enough to change your response. Or send them away when they come fleeting, not with force but with love… “Oh there you are again memory… off you go for now, I will bring you back if I need you!”
As well as living in the here and now, the way to emotional resilience and courage is threefold: be clear about what is ultimately important to you; be aware of the constraints and opportunities, and alert for constant changes; and be flexible in your pursuit of what’s important. As you think of someone you know who has been to the brink and back, look for these signs and you will get a real sense of how these elements play out in the real world.
Personally I think of Stephen Hawking, British theoretical physicist, cosmologist, and author. This courageous man endures a form of entrapment being in a still, body. Hawking has a motor neurone disease. He is almost entirely paralysed and communicates through a speech-generating device. He might appear to the outsider to be trapped and yet he explores the wonders of the universe, it is his compulsion and his passion. He accepts he cannot move and he accepts he needs assistance, and yet he continues his work exploring the stars and perceives his opportunity to study and search to be expansive and wondrous. He writes books and produces film, which he even partly narrates.
Whatever his memories of the past, Stephen Hawking thrives and produces prolific work despite the obstacles. He has a clear idea of what is important, knows only too well the constraints and the opportunities within his environment, and flexes his mind at will. He lives in the now with the wonders of the future in his brilliant mind, inspiration in his hope-filled heart and with a determined instinct to prevail… now that is emotional resilience and courage we can all learn from.
Emotional Resilience champion, believer in humanity.
Noelene is a Sydney based author, speaker and executive coach. Her new book “Your Emotional Edge” is available on her website and in eBook form on amazom.com. She writes and posts intuitive insights daily on social media. www.EmotionalResilience.com.au
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