I have an STD. I have herpes and shared my secret with the world in a TEDx Talk in Malibu. I believe that you are only as sick as your secrets and I was 18 years overdue for some healing. Watch my TEDx talk below and read further down for the truth about secrets and how anyone can make their dirty ‘lil secret into their pretty ‘lil secret.
I Have An STD – Herpes Secret Revealed
1. BE COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO BE VULNERABLE.
It is scary, embarrassing and uncomfortable to share a secret that holds such shame, guilt & stigma for us. Vulnerability is tough and it takes hard work but is the gateway to healing. You’ll feel naked when you reveal your deepest secrets that have been held in for so long. The scariest part is not knowing how others will respond to your truth. ‘My desire to heal is greater than my fear’ has become my mantra. A truth to live by. My desire to heal is greater than my shame, greater than my embarrassment, greater than my fear.
The fear doesn’t go away. Each time you share your secret with someone for the first time, there is new fear. But for me it also brings a lightness and freedom each time I share it I feel a little lighter & a little less scared.
2. CHANGE THE WAY YOU SEE IT.
It doesn’t go away. If you were raped, you were raped. If you have an STD, you have an STD. What happened to you happened but the way you see it can be changed. Petra said, “I had to change the way I felt about this.” Peggy said, “I am still a little person. That didn’t change. The way I saw it had to.”
This has been the hardest thing in my life, but I wouldn’t change it. It’s defined who I have become, but no longer controls me. As hard as it was, it was also my greatest gift and greatest teacher. It can be yours too if you choose to see it that way.
3. SHARING HELPS HEAL
Every time I share it ‘ I Have An STD, I have herpes’ I feel more free and there is another layer of that onion of vulnerability peeled off. You get to the core essence of you. I don’t know what it is about saying it out loud, but there is such a release. I believe it releases the shame. As you share you stretch, learn and grow. You give others permission to open up because vulnerability begets vulnerability. People are now sharing with me things they have never told anyone. What I have seen with the guests on my show is that you teach others what being brave looks like. You give them hope that if you can they can. You help others to know they are not alone. They are not the only one–to move forward. Maybe they needed to share it and don’t know how. Perhaps they have the same secret.
I believe that when we share our stories we heal ourselves and we heal others. This week I learned that as I shared, the words had less power over me. It gets easier each time. Sharing helps others to start their journey to healing. It creates a ripple effect. One of my close girlfriends whom I finally shared my secret with took my hands in hers and as we looked at each other with tears in our eyes, she said to me, “Me too”. The sweetest words ever to be spoken. She said, “If you’re brave enough to share your secret with the world, then I can be brave enough to share my secret in my world,” and that is how the ripple of healing begins. With each of us being brave enough to share.
When you keep a secret in, it isolates you from support, people, information and wisdom. Not everyone will need to share publicly as I have. I ask that you be careful with whom and how you share. Take your time, just don’t let it take you 18 years.
You can also watch my talk on shame & truth here.
Tweet #MeToo and @KirstyTV to show your support and feel encouraged.
So that’s my truth – I Have An STD – Herpes Secret Revealed
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