I wan’t to talk about Rape Culture, Trump & Sexual Assault, NOT politics.

I am angry and sad but mostly disappointed that this is where we are at, as a people.

This isant about Trump it’s about how we have responded to this appalling information as a society. Firstly let me say I don’t wan’t to discuss politics I wan’t to discuss the sexual assault of women by a man named Donald Trump who in his 50’s at the time was caught on tape admitting that as a ‘star’ he could do whatever he want’s. “I just start kissing them.I don’t even wait…” “And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.” “Grab them by the pussy,” “You can do anything.”

So here is why I am most angry. I have seen comments from not just strangers but from people who I like and respect who seem to think this kind of behavior is acceptable, excusable. That you can in some way explain it away as ‘boys talk’ or minimize it. Rape culture is a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality. As one Huff Post editor said, Trump Brushing off misogynistic comments as “locker room banter” is peak rape culture’.

If anyone is still questioning whether ‘rape culture’ exists. Look at the numbers. 1 in 4 college girls are raped each year in this country. Every year in the United States, 1,270,000 women experience rape (Black, Basile, Breiding, Smith, Walters, & Merrick, 2011). 1.3 per minute!

So let’s flip that for just a moment. Rather than focus on the victims for a moment I wan’t you to focus on the perpetrators.THIS is the point I believe that we are missing. We have over 1 million boys, teenagers, college boys and grown men raping women in this country. That number could be 10 times that though, as it is reported that 95% of women do not report the crime and these numbers do not include sexual assaults.

Yep 1 million of our little boys are growing up to be rapists. Possibly millions more.

So what the hell is going so wrong that our boys are growing up to be rapists? and to commit such staggering numbers of sexual assaults? This is what we need to start talking about.

If we don’t begin to address the fact that for many this behavior is accepted, encouraged, supported, taught and condoned we will never change things and I fear it will only get worse. 

We continue the cycle of creating rapists and boys who grow up to assault women when we don’t stand up and say this is #notokay. We continue the cycle when we dismiss it as ‘locker room talk’. We continue the cycle when we don’t punish rapists like Brock Turner & instead we give lenient 6 months sentences as we don’t wan’t to ruin the rapists swimming career.

We continue the cycle when we vote for a man who see’s women as prey, whom he can ‘do anything he wants to’.

The thing is whether Trump gets in or not for me isant the only scary part. The scary part is he even got close. That means far too people in our community are living in fear and willing to vote for a man like this to be our leader. It means far too many share his values on racism, bigotry & the sexual degradation of women. And that is what we should all be concerned about.

We need to look at where we are as a people and be honest about what needs to change and unfriending someone who’s voting for Trump won’t help with anything except more separation, we need to start talking about these issues, we need to start educating those who don’t understand what sexual assault & rape culture are. We need to start doing a better job with raising our boys. We need to have more conversations that matter.